T minus 18 days until MD

Crazy, no?

It's extra strange to me because I have been so completely focused on other things--lab, getting my medical license (pain in the ASS), doing the mounds of paperwork required to be a resident, getting ready for the baby (YIKES), the foils of pregnancy (being essentially handicapped with various ailments, frequent doctor visits, etc etc), and importantly the hubby's PET scan which is at the end of the week--that I haven't thought much at all about the fact that I am about to graduate and be a student no more. It's a mind scrambler.

In other news, I passed Step 2 CS, which is good, because it means that no one at the NMBE has to get a whupping from me. What a lame experience that was.

My internship starts June 15th, which is more than a week sooner than I had hoped. Mainly I am sad to have less "maternity leave"/time to recover from childbirth and attempt to build up a supply of pumped milk. By the way, though I have seen lactation nurses teach new moms how to pump I am not relishing the thought of having to pump myself.

Which actually kind of explains my whole take on this pregnancy/childbirth thing. I've seen a third degree tear up close and personal, as well as lots of C sections, births gone awry, or even those that go okay but still leave mental scars for those who had to witness them. Having seen so much from the medical end of things must alter how you view the experience, but I can't say, having only had the experience from this point of view. It's also weird because I am reading books about Lamaze, approaches to laboring, etc., most of which are pretty darn anti-medicine; however, clearly I am NOT so much with the anti-medicine. But apparently I am pretty susceptible to suggestion because I keep finding myself thinking, "Yeah! Why DO they make laboring women do that?!" It's very strange.

And even though all the books try to make you feel guilty about having any drugs, I am totally getting an epidural. Why? Because I've seen what happens to first time moms who don't, and... well, no thanks.

In any case, that's all for now. The countdown to labor and--gasp!--graduation is ON. Hopefully I will labor early enough to be able to go to graduation. It's going to be a close shave, as I am due the day after graduation. I think I would be pretty bummed to miss graduation; after all, this is a big end to a looooooooong road, and I feel I've earned hearing my name and walking across the stage. I guess there are more important things, but damn. Come a little early, girl, and let your momma have her day in the sun!

Now I'm back to all those chores and errands which somehow seem to take up WAY less time when you are working than when you are on vacation. How does that always happen?