Entry for Most Disturbing, Strange, Offensive, and Yet Amusing Patient Quote Ever Contest

(it's a very specific contest)

From a pretty old, gnarled southern dude, said to me for reasons that, even on very careful and repeated reflection, are still not clear:

"There's two things a man lies about. The gas mileage of his truck, and how many women he's bent over."

Huh.

Any other entires out there?